Take a moment to sit back and think about yourself. I'm sure you have favorite foods, movies, music as well as least favorites of the same. I bet there are days you wish you could change things about yourself. Maybe you're stressed over money. Maybe you're happy because you were able to pay all of your bills this month.
Now, take a moment and think about me. I have favorite foods, movies, and music and least favorites, as well. I sometimes wish I could change a few things about myself. I get stressed over money and feel relief when we have more left over than usual.
We're pretty much the same, so why did I just ask you to compare yourself to me? That was pointless, right? Well, not quite. The difference between myself and most of my readers is that I'm a parent. And maybe you're a parent, too, which makes us even less different. But that's exactly the point of me writing this today. Parents are the same as their children. They're humans, too. (And let me note that I know not everyone has good parents or their parents aren't around. This really applies to any parental figure you had/have.)
Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and Father's Day is coming up close behind next month. Because of that, I thought now was the perfect opportunity to bring up this subject that's been on my mind for ages (two years in August, actually, if you want to get technical.) Again, parents are humans, too. I was a teenager not that long ago, so I remember that "Ugh, parents!" feeling (Sorry, Momma and Daddy), but as I look back, I understand it a lot more. My parents have had the same thoughts I've had and my daughter will, too. It's a difficult concept to grasp, really. We spend so long seeing our parents as these beings that care for you, protecting you, or maybe even doing the opposite of that, but they don't really do much else in our minds. But that is so wrong.
I see myself fighting battles my parents already did (three times) and it gives me a new found respect for them. As my daughter was in the hospital and I was scared for her life, I understood how it felt for my older sister to be born early. When she refuses to eat anything I cook for dinner, I understand the frustration of raising me as a picky eater. When she starts trying to climb up stairs or a table, I feel that anxiety of watching my younger sister climb.
But I know most of my readers aren't parents, so maybe this still seems pointless, but it goes beyond so much more than the trials of parenthood. It's about personal feelings, thoughts that keep you up at night, and even mental illnesses.
Let's try another imagining exercise. Your friend has been acting really weird lately. Maybe he's been moody, not wanting to hang out with you. He spends a lot of time in bed, not even sleeping, just laying there. He starts saying things that make you worry he may be thinking of harming himself or worse. What do you do? Do you try being there for him or cheering him up? Or do you get annoyed that he's too caught up in himself to pay attention to you? Unfortunately, I've seen the latter in reference to someone's parent.
Now turn the tables, what if you were the one feeling like the hypothetical friend before? Your friends care, but maybe have a hard time showing you, but you know they do. They try to do what they think helps, even if it isn't what you want/need. Maybe they're sending you links to songs they use to cheer themselves up when you'd rather just have a deep conversation.
Regardless of what it is, it just doesn't help, but it helps a little that they're trying. Now, how do you think your parents feel about it? Do they think you're a screw up and can't stand to look at you because you're dealing with depression/some other mental illness? Or maybe they just don't care at all? They haven't noticed something's even wrong? That's absolutely not true. They care just as much, if not more, than your friends. We're just stuck feeling like parents are on some different level of existence than us when they're actually right there with us.
This has become incredibly long, much longer than I anticipated, so I will try wrapping it up. The main point I'm trying to share here is that we're all just humans. We all are trying to live this thing called life. Try thinking of your parents the way you would your friend. If you wouldn't feel a certain way or say certain things about something your friend is going through, don't do it for your parents*.
Stay Alive,
Lindsey
*Again, I want to emphasize that not everyone has a (good) parental figure like that. But if a grandparent, aunt, sibling, random stranger on the street raised you, this all still applies. Just re-read with the new word replacing "parent."
Now, take a moment and think about me. I have favorite foods, movies, and music and least favorites, as well. I sometimes wish I could change a few things about myself. I get stressed over money and feel relief when we have more left over than usual.
We're pretty much the same, so why did I just ask you to compare yourself to me? That was pointless, right? Well, not quite. The difference between myself and most of my readers is that I'm a parent. And maybe you're a parent, too, which makes us even less different. But that's exactly the point of me writing this today. Parents are the same as their children. They're humans, too. (And let me note that I know not everyone has good parents or their parents aren't around. This really applies to any parental figure you had/have.)
Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and Father's Day is coming up close behind next month. Because of that, I thought now was the perfect opportunity to bring up this subject that's been on my mind for ages (two years in August, actually, if you want to get technical.) Again, parents are humans, too. I was a teenager not that long ago, so I remember that "Ugh, parents!" feeling (Sorry, Momma and Daddy), but as I look back, I understand it a lot more. My parents have had the same thoughts I've had and my daughter will, too. It's a difficult concept to grasp, really. We spend so long seeing our parents as these beings that care for you, protecting you, or maybe even doing the opposite of that, but they don't really do much else in our minds. But that is so wrong.
I see myself fighting battles my parents already did (three times) and it gives me a new found respect for them. As my daughter was in the hospital and I was scared for her life, I understood how it felt for my older sister to be born early. When she refuses to eat anything I cook for dinner, I understand the frustration of raising me as a picky eater. When she starts trying to climb up stairs or a table, I feel that anxiety of watching my younger sister climb.
But I know most of my readers aren't parents, so maybe this still seems pointless, but it goes beyond so much more than the trials of parenthood. It's about personal feelings, thoughts that keep you up at night, and even mental illnesses.
Let's try another imagining exercise. Your friend has been acting really weird lately. Maybe he's been moody, not wanting to hang out with you. He spends a lot of time in bed, not even sleeping, just laying there. He starts saying things that make you worry he may be thinking of harming himself or worse. What do you do? Do you try being there for him or cheering him up? Or do you get annoyed that he's too caught up in himself to pay attention to you? Unfortunately, I've seen the latter in reference to someone's parent.
Now turn the tables, what if you were the one feeling like the hypothetical friend before? Your friends care, but maybe have a hard time showing you, but you know they do. They try to do what they think helps, even if it isn't what you want/need. Maybe they're sending you links to songs they use to cheer themselves up when you'd rather just have a deep conversation.
Regardless of what it is, it just doesn't help, but it helps a little that they're trying. Now, how do you think your parents feel about it? Do they think you're a screw up and can't stand to look at you because you're dealing with depression/some other mental illness? Or maybe they just don't care at all? They haven't noticed something's even wrong? That's absolutely not true. They care just as much, if not more, than your friends. We're just stuck feeling like parents are on some different level of existence than us when they're actually right there with us.
This has become incredibly long, much longer than I anticipated, so I will try wrapping it up. The main point I'm trying to share here is that we're all just humans. We all are trying to live this thing called life. Try thinking of your parents the way you would your friend. If you wouldn't feel a certain way or say certain things about something your friend is going through, don't do it for your parents*.
Stay Alive,
Lindsey
*Again, I want to emphasize that not everyone has a (good) parental figure like that. But if a grandparent, aunt, sibling, random stranger on the street raised you, this all still applies. Just re-read with the new word replacing "parent."
RSS Feed